What Was This?
by Ace1329
Summary: Steve impulsively kissed Danny, and Danny kissed him back. Neither man knows what it means, but it's all they can think about. (Holy moly, I stink at summaries. My apologies.)


**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own or have the right to Hawaii Five-0, its characters, or its stories.

NOTE: This is perhaps one of the longest things I've ever finished (sad I know), so thoughts would be especially appreciated!

* * *

Steve McGarrett woke up extremely happy. He had the day off, he could feel the warm Hawaii sunshine streaming in through the window of his bedroom, and there was a very attractive man lying in the bed next to him. Steve sat up slowly as not to disturb his bedfellow and leaned against his pillows, watching the man breathe deeply and evenly, still sound asleep. Truly the morning could not get any better.

Steve was just contemplating breaking the stillness of the morning by getting up to brew some coffee when the bed's other occupant maneuvered onto his back, arm stretched toward Steve, his blond hair flopped onto his forehead. His eyes fluttered open and found Steve watching him and he frowned. Steve took in the image and laughed. "You're adorable."

Danny Williams frowned again. "I am not. I, my friend, am a catch. A very sexy catch."

Steve's face became serious. "There we agree." And he leaned down and softly kissed Danny's lips. Steve had been wrong. Now the morning was perfect.

Danny, still waking up, finally cracked a smile. "Well, good morning."

Steve responded with another kiss. This one lasted longer before Danny pulled away gently. "While I am enjoying this, quite a lot actually, I would really love some coffee." He grinned at Steve expectantly. Steve sighed, gave Danny one more quick kiss, and padded downstairs. He returned several minutes later with two steaming mugs of coffee.

After both men were settled back into bed, leaning against the headboard sipping their coffee, Steve spoke. "Danny, what was this?"

Danny said nothing and just looked into his mug as if it held the answer to Steve's question. "I'm not entirely sure," he said softly.

It was Steve's turn to look into his cup silently. Both men thought back to where it had started, just a few weeks ago…

"'Let's just talk to him,' you said. 'I won't shoot anybody,' you said. Why do you always have to shoot someone?" Danny yelled as he and Steve ran chasing a suspect through the thronging crowds of the beachside plaza.

"Danny, this is hardly the time to talk about this!" Steve cried back, emitting a burst of speed as their suspect made a sharp turn toward a less congested part of the plaza.

Danny sped up as well, but he wasn't fast enough. He was just rounding the corner, only a few seconds behind Steve, when he heard the sharp crack of gunfire, three shots. Danny's gun was already drawn before he came to a stop and his brain barely registered his partner lying on the ground before he rattled off shots of his own, hitting the fleeing perp in the leg. Their suspect fell to the ground, clutching his bleeding knee and groaning, but Danny was focused on Steve. He skidded to him, falling to his knees at Steve's side, checking to see where he'd been hit.

Steve's eyes fluttered open to feel Danny's hands sliding over his body, checking for blood or entry wounds. "Steve, are you hit?"

Steve tried to sit up and groaned as the pain in his chest stopped him. "I think I took a couple to the vest," he gasped, pulling at the Velcro of his bulletproof vest.

"Yeah, and one to the leg," Danny said. For the first time Steve noticed the pain in his upper thigh. "Don't move you idiot." Danny applied pressure to Steve's leg looking over his partner again to make sure that he was going to be fine.

The look of concern in Danny's eyes made Steve catch his breath. Out of nowhere, Steve was suddenly overcome with emotion, and before he knew what was happening, Steve reached up, pulled Danny down toward him, and kissed him. Danny went from shocked to, suddenly, kissing his partner back. At the sound of approaching sirens, both men pulled away. The kiss had lasted only a few seconds, but the impact it had made it seem like much longer. Danny and Steve were awkward and silent around each other as the paramedics came and took Steve to the hospital and Chin and Kono arrived to escort their suspect to prison.

"Danny, we're headed to the hospital to check in on Steve as soon as we drop this clown off. Do you want to meet there?" Chin asked as he passed Danny on the way to his car.

"I, uh, I have to pick up Grace. I'll stop in on him later."

Chin picked up on something, but just smiled and nodded. "Okay brah. See you tomorrow."

Danny did not stop by the hospital. And he did not have to pick up Grace. He sat in his dinky apartment all night, hating himself for not checking on Steve but unable to make himself go out the front door. _What the hell was that?_ Danny thought to himself. And over and over, like a loop, Danny thought of the kiss, and then thought of visiting Steve, and then realized he would have no idea what to say to him or how to act around him, and he would put down his keys again, and return to his spot on the couch. Steve had kissed him. Really kissed him. _And you kissed him back_, Danny's inner monologue amended. What did it mean that Steve had kissed him? And what did it mean that Danny had not only not fought the kiss, but reciprocated it? Danny did not sleep much that night, and every time that he managed to fall asleep, he dreamt of Steve.

Lying in his hospital bed, slightly foggy because of pain medication, a very similar loop was happening in Steve's head. Steve visited with Chin and Kono when they arrived. He assured them that he was fine, a through-and-through in his leg and a few bruised ribs from the shots that his vest caught. A few days off and he would be back to work. They told him that Danny was picking up Grace and would be over to visit later, but Steve knew that Danny did not have Grace tonight. After Chin and Kono left, Steve was left to his own thoughts. He hoped Danny would come by, but he doubted he would. And a small part of him hoped that he wouldn't. Steve had no idea how to interact with Danny after what had happened. He, Steve, had kissed Danny. Out of nowhere. He was lying there bleeding and Danny was next to him, so worried and concerned, and Steve had felt, what exactly? Appreciation? Attraction? Love? He didn't know, but he did know that something in his brain had connected that feeling with the immediate urge to kiss his partner of over two years, a man he worked with everyday, and who he now had no idea how to act toward. _But he kissed you back_, Steve thought. _Didn't he?_ He had been in pain and losing blood and it had happened so fast. Maybe Danny didn't return the kiss. Maybe Steve had just imagined it. Maybe that's what he wanted? Maybe that's what he wanted. Steve eventually surrendered to the pain medication and fell asleep, still thinking of the way Danny's lips had felt against his: unexpected, but undeniably nice.

Danny came into Five-0 headquarters the next morning feeling groggy and emotionally exhausted after his back-and-forth arguments with himself. He had called the hospital that morning claiming to be Steve's brother so that he wasn't in the dark about Steve's condition around Chin and Kono. He was relieved to hear that Steve would be fine, and would only have to spend one more night in the hospital, purely for observational reasons. But Danny was also happy that Steve was not at work today, and wouldn't be for the rest of the week. It gave Danny time to sort out the whole mess in his head before having to face Steve again.

The office was quieter without Steve, but also lonelier. Danny felt himself glancing toward Steve's office more often than normal, his thoughts straying away from everything he did and back toward the empty office of the man he kissed. The week seemed to drag on, and by Friday as he was getting ready to leave for the weekend, Danny realized he still had not figured anything out.

Steve didn't argue with the doctors about remaining in the hospital for an extra night. The hospital gave Steve some distraction from the chaos in his mind. He had not heard anything from Danny. Even though it was going to be awkward, Steve still assumed that Danny would check in. They were partners after all. Danny had helped to save his life.

When Steve was released, he returned home and holed up in his bedroom for the remainder of the week. When Kamekona visited, Steve had him move the television into his bedroom, and Chin and Kono kept Steve stocked in food. But Danny didn't stop by. Or call. Or seem to care at all. But Steve let Kono and Chin assume that Danny was visiting and that they always seemed to just miss him. Steve spent his days watching mindless daytime programs in an attempt to keep himself from wondering about Danny. But it didn't work. Steve checked his cell phone often, looking for missed calls or text messages, but none of them ever said "Danny Williams" beside them. And Steve never pressed send either. _What the hell is going on with me?_ Steve asked himself.

When Steve returned to work the following week, there was something in the air and everyone felt it. That feeling was awkwardness. Danny and Steve exchanged casualties, but essentially that was all. They seemed to literally bump into each other, a lot. This then resulted in muttered apologies and each man retreating back into his own office. Kono and Chin couldn't help but pick up on the changed dynamic in their office, but they had no idea of its source. But since Steve and Danny didn't appear mad with each other and they continued to drive together, the cousins assumed it would pass, while still wondering what one earth they had missed.

Steve and Danny continued to drive together when tracking down suspects and going to crime scenes, but their car rides were mostly silent. Occasionally Steve would ask about Grace or Danny would offer up a comment about something superficial like the weather or food, but otherwise the car remained free of noise. And while both men spent an increasing amount of time holed up in their own offices, they spent a proportional amount of time staring at the other's office, lost in thought and daydreams.

Steve had continued to ponder his motivations for kissing Danny, but had come up with nothing that satisfied him. Danny likewise continued to wonder how or why he had kissed back, but to no avail.

And while both men were questioning the cause of the kiss, neither of them realized the effect. Steve began to pick up on little things about Danny that he had never noticed before. Like the way that he jostled with his keys when he was anxious (which was frequently these days), or the way he picked at his fingernails when he was lost in thought (also frequent). And while Steve was noticing these things, he was also noticing what he was missing about Danny. Like the way that Danny got increasingly louder during one of his rants or the way that his face lit up when he was talking about Grace.

Danny's realizations were focused more on looking back on the two years that he and Steve had been partners and friends. Steve, Danny realized, had slowly and without notice, become one of the most important people in Danny's life. Grace of course was the most important person, but Danny spent much more time with Steve than he did with his own daughter. Steve was always (or at least before a couple of weeks ago) the person that Danny called with news, good or bad. He was the person that Danny went to for advice, albeit reluctantly. And Danny believed that he was the same for Steve. They were closer than either of them realized, and their distance now only seemed to highlight how close they had been, and what they were missing by refusing to talk about the elephant in the room.

And while both men were conscious of these realizations, their subconscious was also pointing things out, for both men dreamed of the other every night.

After nearly two weeks of silence and tension, Kono made the first move in a game she wasn't playing. "Look guys, I don't know what's going on here, but something needs to change. There's more going on in the morgue than in this office. Unless you guys want me and Chin to start spending our time with Max, you guys need to talk, about whatever it is that's going on!" Kono took a breath and smiled. "I'm headed home. See you all on Monday."

As the cousins left the office quietly, Danny and Steve remained standing around the computer, the files from the case they'd just wrapped up still illuminated on the screens. Danny took a deep breath, but Steve spoke first. "I'm not sorry." Steve hadn't realized it before he said it, but immediately he knew it was true. "I still don't know exactly why I kissed you, but I'm not sorry that I did. And I don't know what that means for us now, but I can't keep doing this." Steve gestured, unsure to what exactly, but Danny seemed to understand. Steve sighed. "We had a good thing, buddy. And if we need to pretend what happened didn't happen in order to get back to where we are, then we should do that, but I don't—"

And all of a sudden, Danny was on the other side of the table, kissing Steve, more fiercely than before but somehow still softly. And Steve was kissing back. This kiss was longer than the first one and full of more meaning, although still neither man knew what that meaning was. They eventually parted, gasping and flushed. "I don't know what's gotten into us," Danny said and then he laughed suddenly and loudly. Steve joined in. "God, we're a mess."

Steve nodded in agreement. "Hungry?" He asked.

Danny grinned. "Of course." His face grew more serious. "But maybe we should order in? We should—"

"Talk. I know."

Steve and Danny sat in Steve's kitchen surrounded by Chinese food boxes, catching up but not talking about either kiss, despite their previous insistence on doing so. Things felt more normal, so naturally, they moved into the living room to catch some game highlights on ESPN, another normal thing. Danny reached for the table where the remote always lay, but he glanced around to find a large space where the TV normally sat. "Where's the TV?"

"Oh," Steve said, realizing it wasn't there himself, "it's in my room. I moved it in there when I got out of the hospital. I guess I haven't put it back yet."

"Oh," Danny replied. "Well, I guess we go up there then." Danny realized there may have been a subtext to his suggestion, but he pushed it aside.

Steve did the same. "After you."

Danny flipped the TV on and sat on the edge of Steve's perfectly made bed. Steve sat next to him. They both had their eyes on the TV, but neither Steve nor Danny was watching. And then suddenly the TV was off and they were sitting in the dark. And then they weren't just sitting; they were kissing. And then they were still kissing, but lying horizontal on the bed. And then they were doing more than kissing in less than clothes. The only sounds in the McGarrett house were heavy breathing, panting, soft moans, and the sounds of the waves lapping against the beach outside. They fell asleep in each other's arms, still not sure what was happening, but the difference was that now they didn't really care.

Steve and Danny returned to the present, their coffee cooling and the eternal question still hanging in the air. "I think," Steve began slowly, "that I may be in love with you. And maybe that's why I kissed you the day I got shot, except I didn't realize it then." Steve didn't make eye contact, almost like he was embarrassed by his own words. "And when we weren't really talking, I just missed you all the time. And I thought that it was a partner thing, you know? We're partners and best friends and I thought that was why, but after a little more thought, I think that I'm probably in love with you. And the kissing and the sex pretty much confirmed that for me. So that's where I am," Steve finished.

Danny took a sip of his coffee. "Yeah."

Steve widened his eyes. "Yeah? Yeah? What does 'yeah' mean? I say all that and you say 'yeah'? Are you kidding me?"

Danny sat his mug down on the bedside table and turned to face Steve. "'Yeah,' Steven, means I agree. I think I kissed you back because it felt right because I am also in love with you. And I felt guilty every day that we weren't talking because things just weren't right. We are supposed to talk because we are supposed to be together. And it took me some time to wrap my mind around the fact that I could possibly be in love with you of all people, but there we go. Attraction's a funny thing." Danny grabbed his cup again and took a drink. "Also, you're nice to look at."

Steve sat, his mouth partially open, just staring at the man he hadn't realized he was in love with three weeks ago, who today he couldn't imagine being without ever again. "Okay then."

"Okay then."

Steve and Danny returned to sitting in bed drinking their coffee. They sat in silence, but his time it was the silence of two people who didn't need to talk, because they would be doing the same thing every morning for a very long time.


End file.
